You smell like a Billy Joel song
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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