She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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