the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
did i just pee glitter
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
