her vagine was all disorganized.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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