I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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