So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
