just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
as a side note pls kill me
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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