he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
