did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
