In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize