so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
