I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
