god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
