btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
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There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear