btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
