he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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