No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
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