If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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