so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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