Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
