i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
