we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
