Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
