I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
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