dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
