First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating