hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize