I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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