goodnight i made you a song goodbye
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
