some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
