Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
