just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
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I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
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There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??