dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need to calm my uterus...