Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
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Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
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Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.