She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
