is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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if we break up, who will get the dealer?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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