I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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