dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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