Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
