I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize