Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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