Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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