Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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