Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am one with the molecules
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
