Define "chronic" masturbator.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
