just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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