sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
