I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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