I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
