You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
