im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
