im holly from the hills drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Drunk is not a location!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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