that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize