Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
