Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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