Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
