wakey wakey hands off snakey
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
