It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
