i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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