I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
