sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
