I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
