I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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