And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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