dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
