and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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