got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
