I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize