Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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